and then I became sad for no reason at all

some nights, when you talk to yourself, you make promises. the other nights, all those promises go to vain. you encounter the helpless version of yourself, down and tired.

you come across days when you are all pumped up to be fighting against all the issues that have made home inside of you. all those negativities, pain, sickness and disturbances. you want to break that home down. but at the very next moment, you find it to be too strong. you are just too weak for it.

you keep blaming yourself for all the mishaps surrounding you. you come up with the verdict that you are to be rendered guilty for whatever is going wrong. your will power is at zero. y

our dreams are shattered. you are close to being a failure.

the worst part is you hesitate at seeking help. even if someone extends his support, you simply deny that. you believe your presence will disrupt that person's world too. you are nothing but a burden in your own eyes. you just don't want to drag someone else's in a mess that you are already in.

you start finding solace in pain. even if it doesn't exist at times, you start creating it.you make friends with sadness. you know its the worst kind of friend to have, but you persist at doing it.

at the end, you start vanishing not physically but mentally. you start dying a slow death.